Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize