hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
