i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Houston, we have a blender
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
