I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
