I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
