I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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