there's paper in my vomit.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
