I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
