Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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