singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
