let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
