I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
