Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
