I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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