Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You're a waste of cheezeits
and you fell through a lawn chair
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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