I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
