is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
