Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
