that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
