Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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