Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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