Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
