if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
