can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
