I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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