What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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