You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
