He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His hands were made for my vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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