I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Actions speak louder than pants.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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