He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize