We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
