I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
