and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
