I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
