I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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