My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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