I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
