quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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