hotel room ftw
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize