I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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