You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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