the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
