you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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