omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
