I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
