hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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