i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I need a beard to bite.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
