The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
