Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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