the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
