Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize