from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
