What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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