In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
