It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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