was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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