She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
