I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What a dumb baby whore.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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