You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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