White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
