Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
