She said her name was "party"
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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