Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
