last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
