exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
